And the Numbness Sets In

Let me just tell you how weird it is not having La here. I mean, yes, I get to sleep in a half hour later each morning. And yes, I am free from having to pick up 438 barbies from the living room floor every ten minutes. And yes, I can arrange La's closet without my little control freak telling me what goes where. And I can pretty much do whatever I damn well please whenever I damn well want to. And I get to use the word damn as much as possible, dammit.

But, it's just not the same. I miss her.

She's getting so big, I tell ya. I mean she flew! By herself! Across the country! On an airplane! Alone! What???

When I was a kid, I would have FREAKED THE HECK OUT at the mere thought of boarding an airplane by myself. My dad traveled all the time for work when I was young, and I used to lie awake at night with my hand over my heart PLEADING OUT LOUD TO MY DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN that my father could be spared just one more flight. At the time, I felt as though my dad was testing his fate by boarding an aircraft made of STEEL and allowing himself to enter the Earth's Stratosphere aboard the freaking contraption. So, the idea of getting on a plane alone under the age of 15 was not even a sliver of an idea in my little mind. I mean, what crazy parent would do that to their child?

And now here I am. With this brave little five-year-old who's not afraid to fly alone. In fact, when I told her that it was a possibility, her eyes lit up and she grabbed my arm and said, "Really mama? I can fly by myself?"

Ever since her father and I booked the flight, I've been waking up randomly at night, freaking out over La flying alone. Which is why I understood the anxiety that my relatives felt over the weekend. But, during the weeks leading up to the flight, I spoke with four different people who had all been in this situation before. Two were children that grew up doing this very thing AND LIVED TO TALK ABOUT IT. And two were parents that had been through this with their own children. The consensus from everyone was that Southwest was the best airline for this sort of thing. And Southwest is who we had booked the flight with. So, one point for us!

The day before she left, I was pretty nervous. I stayed up until 3 a.m. and couldn't sleep when I finally did lie down. I rolled out of bed at about 6 o'clock and went to hang out with my dad. He asked if I was nervous, and we started talking about the situation. I had never felt the amount of anxiety I felt at that moment. It was worse, BY FAR, than anything I had ever felt (yes, even worse than the anxiety I felt over labor and delivery) ... So, in the middle of our conversation I had to remove myself from the kitchen to throw up. That's right. I lost my cookies over the impending doom of an ordinary, everyday Southwest Airlines flight to Phoenix.

Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck that day until she boarded that plane. Thank God Aunt M was with me to see her off at the airport. When we arrived at Midway, we headed for the Southwest line, where a Southwest employee was sorting the line into two sections. She asked if we were international or domestic. We were like, "we're domestic, but she's an Unaccompanied Minor." The woman looked La up and down and said, "Sheesh! She's little!" (as if this is the tiniest little peanut she'd ever seen fly by herself) This made me feel SPECTACULAR. Then we got up to the counter, and the ticketing person looked at La and said, "You're flying by yourself? My daughter is your age and would NEVER fly by herself! You must be very brave!" (Thanks a lot lady!) ... But La seemed to take that as a compliment rather than an omen. THEN. We're in the security line and this twenty-something dude sees that La has an Unaccompanied Minor Pass around her neck, and he's all, "Whoa girl! You flyin' alone? Naw. I'm afraid of heights. I would never do that!" (OMG you people are KILLING ME!)

But, we made it to the gate without La bolting for the nearest exit. We sat down and I started reading her a story. A few minutes later a young woman and a little boy come over to us and take the two seats immediately to our left. Aunt M and I gave each other looks like "Whoa this is perfect! We'll use our high-pressure tactics to con her into sitting with La on the plane!" And guess what? It worked! We didn't even have to pressure her. SHE OFFERED.

So, when it was time to board, an off-duty pilot ushered La onto the plane. It happened very suddenly, so I grabbed her and kissed her five times in a row with tears streaming down my face, and she just said, "Bye mom" like I was WAY overreacting. The pilot led her on the plane, where La got to sit next to the nice mom and her little boy the whole way. Right before the plane took off, the pilot came back out to tell me that she was doing great and that she was sitting next to that mom and her son, already talking their ears off.

She got there with no incidents that I'm aware of, and when I got the text from her dad that he had her in his possession, the amount of relief I felt was indescribable. It was like when you're on a family vacation from Ohio to Wisconsin, and you're driving through the middle of Indiana, and you've had to pee for the last four hours. But you're too afraid to tell your dad (because he will chastise you for not going before you left the house), but your bladder is also about to explode inside your abdomen. And then you'll die. But right when you're on the brink of peeing inside a Snapple jar, your dad pipes up and says, "We're stopping in exactly 3.2 miles and you better get your shoes on if you want a potty break!" It's kind of like that. Sudden, immense relief.

I hope the flight back goes just as well.