Only in Wisconsin

Behold, my dad's side of the family:

... Or, as I like to call them, the "frightfully normal" side of the family.

For the past fifteen years or so, we've been congregating for summertime family reunions. This year, we picked a more "local" destination for the get-together. We chose Wisconsin Dells.

To this day it remains unclear whose notion it was to visit the Dells. Some say it was mine, but I merely recall nodding in agreement months ago when the idea was first mentioned. You see, I had never been to the Dells before this week. And being that I'm from Wisconsin, this is very, very odd.

Wisconsin Dells is, in a word, BIZARRE. It's a full-blown tourist trap in every sense of the term, with amusement parks, water parks, mini golf, drive-in theaters, go-carts, haunted houses, monster trucks, Paul Bunyan restaurants, inverted White Houses, "ancient" runes, I-HOPs on every corner, bungee jumping, Trojan horses, and even the World's Largest Flamingo. All located in one square mile.

I AM NOT KIDDING YOU.

See? Go-carts.

La wanted to ride the carts with Uncle Aaron, which turned out to be great fun for her. For me, however, it was rather frightening. There she was, in the go-cart with Uncle A, perfectly relaxed, her little arm HANGING OUTSIDE OF THE VEHICLE. As though she wasn't seated along-side one of the most reckless individuals the world has ever seen.

I kept envisioning the two of them crashing into a rock (even though there were no rocks), and Uncle A bringing her back to me with a bloody stump for an arm and me having to strangle him with my bare hands in front of hundreds of fellow tourists.

But, as you can see below, she came back with her arm entirely intact. And I'm pretty sure she had the time of her life.

The coolest thing about the Dells — which is lost entirely among All The Madness — is the actual Dells themselves. The Dells are rock formations in the Wisconsin River that were carved by a glacier thousands of years ago. They are quite beautiful. For some reason I didn't take any photos of the actual rock formations, so here's one from Wikipedia.

We got to observe this beautiful scenery from aboard an Original Wisconsin Duck. If you're not familiar with ducks, they are amphibious vehicles, meaning they can navigate both land and water.

Neat-o.

If this video doesn't blow your mind, then I don't know what will.

The two nights that we spent at the resort were great. We sat by the campfire overlooking Lake Delton both nights, chatting with our families, drinking beer, and soaking up the freezing cold August air. It was so nice to be with these people.

La is pictured above with my newly-engaged cousin Joel and his lovely lady, Tami. Congrats guys! (I have to add that Joel is a very sweet boy, which you might not gather from his menacing expression in the photo above. I think he was just angry about the large man with the handlebar-mustache and way-too-short-shorts who had intruded on our campfire session and was incessantly mooing like a cow.*)

On our way back to Chicago today, Aunt M, La and I hung out on the University of Wisconsin campus in Madison for a few hours. That school is awesome. We got to meet up with out cousins and Aunt Kay too, which made the Madison experience even better.

And now we're home. And it's back to the grindstone tomorrow. It's always so hard to go back to work after a whole week of vacation. I'm hoping La goes to school peacefully tomorrow without having to be bribed. I'll let you know how that goes.

*The man with the handlebar-stash and the short shorts was not a figment of my imagination. According to multiple sources other than myself, he really existed. And he really was sitting around the campfire mooing like a cow. He also had a harmonica. Only in Wisconsin, I say.