OH, SNAP.

La and I went to Cleveland for the weekend so that she could see her dad, who was in town for a wedding. We pulled into Grandma Linda and Grandpa Dave's driveway just before midnight on Friday. My parents usually have "a special something" in the toy box for La when she arrives, just because spoiling their grandchild is their main objective in life. My dad was the one to purchase her prize this time, and being a self-proclaimed cheapskate, the "something" was purchased at the dollar store.

The cards, like most items from the Dollar Store (and every other store in America), were made in China. They came with instructions that were written in 3-point type. The words were so small that I had to take a picture of the card and then enlarge the photo in order to read it. And let me assure you that being able to read the words did not make one lick of a difference in understanding the game. It's clear that whomever wrote these directions did so using nothing but a translation dictionary, a typewriter with no spell-check, and a bottle of good, strong whiskey.

Click photo to enlarge.

If you are able to decipher any amount of the text above, you'll realize that nobody in the world would be able to figure this game out, based on those directions alone. But, La really wanted to play "SNAP" with Grandpa, and grandpa just couldn't say no. So, he made up the rules.

(Keep in mind that grandpa errs slightly toward the "Hill Jack" side of life.)

In his version of SNAP (or SANP, depending on what part of the directions you read), the cards are dealt, and the players each turn one card over simultaneously to see what animal is on the front of each card. Grandpa then uses a variety of very objective factors to determine which of the two animals would kick the other's butt in a physical fight. Next, they "commence afresh," until they're out of cards, just as the directions say.

Observe.

I can't wait till she goes to school and teaches her classmates this game. THAT will be an interesting phone call from the teacher.

*Grandpa does not actually condone animal fighting. As far as I know, he's very much against it. Hunting and fishing, however? They're a whole other story.